unhappy

tonite i was very unhappy and upset, not because of the outing is not fun. is because my bf is angry with me. he dun like me going home late. but i still went till 3pm. today is kat last day of work so we went to celebrate. I alr told him tat i will going home late. then he was angry and told me off. i know tat he care abt me, worry abt my safety but kat and me have been friends for half a yr. and she really take good care for me. so in order not to spoil the mood i went 4 the outing.


when i reach ktv at 9.00pm, i msg him telling him tat i had reached there, but he did not reply. from that time onwards i was feeling sad cos he is angry liao. i know he won't sleep tat early. just tat he dun want to msg me only. i just want to tell him tat i know hw to take care of myself and i will be extra careful when going back late. through out the whole outing i was just feeling sad, unhappy and i feel like going home. but in order not to spoil my friends' mood , i have to pretend tat i m happy. so tat they won't get influence by my mood. i dun like tis feeling, cos i dun always go out late.is once a while only. i m really envy tat my friend's bf is understanding, will tell his gf tat enjoy herself , reach home msg him... but my bf won't do tat. he just say dun care u liao. u knoe tis kind of feeling is no gd. which spoilt my whole outing mood. i had waited for tis day to come and i was kind of like excited abt it. cos i finally can see my buddy liao. but when tis day come which is today i feel terrible is becos i know tat i will go until very late, and he will be very angry abt it. i scare he angry dun knw y. my character is like u angry ur business la... there is nothing to get angry abt it. i m not going with guys. i m going out with my gfs.

no choice.. since i love him i have to accept wat he is. but i dun like it. everytime when i go out i have to worry tat will he get angry? shld i not join the outing? but the problem is i dun always go out. since i started my cos i seldom go out liao, i oso need gfs to pour out my feelings. i need to unwind myself since work & study is so stressful. but he just can't understand..... :...(

for the sake of him, i already change my temper although is not fully change.. but at least i try my best. i always gave in but he dun. he always promised to take me out but in the end stay at his hse whole day. tat one i close one eye open one eye. wat i m hurt is tat he said u only know kat for half a yr only. so y must go until so late, u know gers and gers tok or feeling is almost the same. so of cos my feeling to kat is like known for yrs. and i won't be seeing her much although when schooling can see la but is different lo. i m so used to that she is sitting beside me. toking to me , teaching me life hw to go on and so for. i dun know la, my heart now like a knife is stabbing at it, feeling so terrible~~~ i hope if there a chance my bf see my blog, i hope he can understand hw m i feeling. a couple shld trusted each other not to suspect.... learn hw to love an inperfect person....................

I HATE TIS FAMILY

i m damm fucking angry. my parents love my brother so much and he is not small liao. he already in the army liao. still my idiot parents fetch him to and fro. the worst thing is i can't understand my fucking brother treating his gf like a slave like tat. i feel like slapping and beat him up. from today onwards i tell myself i DUN HAVE TIS BROTHER. HE DIE OR ALIVE NOT MY BUSINESS.

and i HATE my parents. DUN LIKE ME DUN GIVE BIRTH TO ME LA. I TOTALLY HATE TIS FAMILY. wat "tian xia fu mu duo shi ai zi nv" is all rubbish. i dun find my parents love me . they only pay attention to my brother and sister nia. they give them the best. and me wat do i get ?? in their heart wat m i to them? wat must respect parents ..i say is all bullshit. i will never them escpecially my mother.my aunts and her can put their own mother in the old aged home . wat is tis man .... tat's is their mother lei . shld take care of her although she gt illness all tis . but instead of taking care of my grandmother they (the daughters and sons of my grandmother) put her in the old aged home. after tis incident i learn hw to disrespect my parents cos they dun won't my respect. from small to sec sch the only one who loved and cared abt me is my grandmother. i love you grandmother. you are always in my heart.


jan if u have the chance to read my blog, wat i advise u is "break off with my brother" he dun worth ur caring..... i believe u can find a better one than my brother. no need to treat him so good one. he is a man he shld do wat a man shld do. and not like a gigglo....