unhappy

tonite i was very unhappy and upset, not because of the outing is not fun. is because my bf is angry with me. he dun like me going home late. but i still went till 3pm. today is kat last day of work so we went to celebrate. I alr told him tat i will going home late. then he was angry and told me off. i know tat he care abt me, worry abt my safety but kat and me have been friends for half a yr. and she really take good care for me. so in order not to spoil the mood i went 4 the outing.


when i reach ktv at 9.00pm, i msg him telling him tat i had reached there, but he did not reply. from that time onwards i was feeling sad cos he is angry liao. i know he won't sleep tat early. just tat he dun want to msg me only. i just want to tell him tat i know hw to take care of myself and i will be extra careful when going back late. through out the whole outing i was just feeling sad, unhappy and i feel like going home. but in order not to spoil my friends' mood , i have to pretend tat i m happy. so tat they won't get influence by my mood. i dun like tis feeling, cos i dun always go out late.is once a while only. i m really envy tat my friend's bf is understanding, will tell his gf tat enjoy herself , reach home msg him... but my bf won't do tat. he just say dun care u liao. u knoe tis kind of feeling is no gd. which spoilt my whole outing mood. i had waited for tis day to come and i was kind of like excited abt it. cos i finally can see my buddy liao. but when tis day come which is today i feel terrible is becos i know tat i will go until very late, and he will be very angry abt it. i scare he angry dun knw y. my character is like u angry ur business la... there is nothing to get angry abt it. i m not going with guys. i m going out with my gfs.

no choice.. since i love him i have to accept wat he is. but i dun like it. everytime when i go out i have to worry tat will he get angry? shld i not join the outing? but the problem is i dun always go out. since i started my cos i seldom go out liao, i oso need gfs to pour out my feelings. i need to unwind myself since work & study is so stressful. but he just can't understand..... :...(

for the sake of him, i already change my temper although is not fully change.. but at least i try my best. i always gave in but he dun. he always promised to take me out but in the end stay at his hse whole day. tat one i close one eye open one eye. wat i m hurt is tat he said u only know kat for half a yr only. so y must go until so late, u know gers and gers tok or feeling is almost the same. so of cos my feeling to kat is like known for yrs. and i won't be seeing her much although when schooling can see la but is different lo. i m so used to that she is sitting beside me. toking to me , teaching me life hw to go on and so for. i dun know la, my heart now like a knife is stabbing at it, feeling so terrible~~~ i hope if there a chance my bf see my blog, i hope he can understand hw m i feeling. a couple shld trusted each other not to suspect.... learn hw to love an inperfect person....................