no strength

It's been so long i have not blog.Too lazy?Sian? I myself oso dun knw. There are many things i m unsure of myself too.I have many prbms which i wish to keep it to myself.I don't wish to talk.I just wish i have made a correct choice.

i find tat i m nt myself these few weeks, lost the abilities to explain things,concentration.I dun feel like bother to explain anything and became very quiet.Dun ask me y,cos i oso dun know.Like the spirit has left my body,it has really became souless EY.

I found out tat singaporean are very idiot & rude.Some even think they gt money is very big deal.Actually those who gt money is the most stingy pple.They dun understand hw the system wrk and keep saying tat we have no brain.Hello can u wake up ur F**king idea.The system does not cater for u only. Is for the whole of singaporean.Dun think u are the only ones staying in this country lor.If u think u r so skillful then go and be president or someone big shot la.WTH!!! U think u all talk loud we all scare ma.. No lor..This is to show that u all are uneducated and no manner pple.We as a worker of the coy also human being, dun think we want to reAd ur meter then u can vent anger on us.Who ask u dun stay at home, Who ask u dun submit ur own rdg.When back charges arise you all will blame us nt doing our job.If u think this is so easy come and do it for urself.

Everyday have to face this kind of pple. So sickening. Make me realise that Singaporeans are nt polite at all!!!

i wish that big butt goes unlucky watever she do. i hate her to core.So damm pissed off....Argh...So wat she is the senior..wrk so many donkey yrs still an clerk wat. She think she so li hai lor.Ya li hai in complaining to EO,Manage.She gt nothing better to do lor,always go complain us.Bloody hell!!! She always on the hp during wrking time,talk and talk non stop...wondering her family is very big lor...everyone in the family must report to her wat r they doing. Fucking bitch... Hate her Hate her......i will everyday cursed her..

this few days very sian,y?cos my dear dear always ot. No time to acc me...sob sob..well i can go out with my colleague but i dun want. One week sometime 5 days or 6 days see them. Although they are quite fun but i just wan to spent time with my dear. Dear Dear i miss you!!! Well work have been relaxing most of the times although at time cust can be very irriating and stupid but colleagues have been very gd. They are fun even my manager oso can be fun at times...hehe.. My manager is a very soft-spoken lady and when i m in doubt she will explain it to us in very details. Love her so much.....No complains abt my department.

have been working for like 3 weeks (i think so), and nw i m sick,y? cos my office pple is spreading the bugs to one another. been busy with work, outing,meeting,events,session.....omg hw come gt so many thing coming up...

Have already started working for one week.And so far everything is ok except that have to wake up early.But well started to get used to it except for some days.. hehe... will get tired. Last week have make lots of phone calls, but dun knw y today seems like a bit slow dwn lei. Not quite happy with my performance for today. Have to buck up abit for tml.

The environment here is gd and the colleagues there oso gd..plus my supervisor even more gd. Nt like my previous coy, the fat woman like shit. Here the pple here believe in teamwork and yes we are working towards our goals... Hope this month can hit our target. Well this coy have lot of events.But is a bo lian one lor.Like next friday we have a Sports for Life thing at YCK. Y m i the unlucky one.Argh i hate this kind of thing.But oh well only work till 2 plus then can go off liao..hehe.. hope is a fun event. On the 24th May we have a MDM party at Furama Hotel.. can i dun go... well the ans is NO!!!

Just finish talking to my bro as my previous coy and he was telling abt the coy thing, well i think he is hinting me sth. And yes i have ask him straight forward.. He want me to go back to the coy but i just tell him tat i dun want to see some pple and say frankly i m happy with my current job so i gt no intend to leave.Although tat ger is a temp but i believe she can do it if she wants to. Actually recep is easy job but somehw this position in this coy seems to be difficult. Should i say is becos the fat woman's doing or issit becos there is alot of work to do.. I dun knw. Anyway i dun want to know or should i say i dun even bother to know. Cos my heart has no longer there already.When i say my heart is not there means the pple there is no longer in my heart.I dun knw y maybe is becos someone make me lose heart in there. Even when i want to ask some pple out for coffee i have to think twice. Cos i dun want tat someone to be there.... Wat should i do?? Should i just dun contact them or just face it.... I really dun knw.. i dun wan to think abt it.

You are the Hanged Man
Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.
With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of loss from a situation, rather than gain.
The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.
The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.
What Tarot Card are You?Take the Test to Find Out.


Is this really the truth abt me???

tml will be the 1st day of my work. Kinda of worry,sian.Dun know wat kind of pple will i meet. Just praying hard that i won't get the same kind of F**king pple(esp tat fat woman pattern). Hope everything will go smooth for me..............

Got alot of things keep bothering me and up to nw i can't make a decision. 天呀救救我吧。very vexed!!!!Maybe i shouldn't think so much.

Just come back from Jolin's concert... it was great... it was high!!! I enjoy watching and i want to watch it again.wow....Her dancing was great although there was some movement that she's unable to do it but overall was great!!! When to eat ice cream after the concert and my brother ask me to treat him, so i ask him to send me back home..hehe... he is a lu chi.. so have to teach him hw to go to my bf's hse and after tat hw to go back amk... lol... din knw tat he was such a lu chi. ok shall pen up to here.... good nite

Today is Jolin's concert and a few hrs more i can see her liao. Yipee!!! Well although dun really quite like her but her dancing i can say is good. How i wish i can be her...

I nw back at my home and later after Jolin's concert i m going back to his house and alone again. Nt really sian at his hse but i dun like to be alone at home esp at his hse. And beside i dun talk to his mother as i feel is embarass. I oso dun know embarass abt wat just dun like to talk to his parents cos i myself at home oso dun talk to my parents de. So hw m i going to communicate with his parents. Tml my dear dear is coming back liao. Wondering will he rem to buy present for me or just simply forget abt me. Well if he dun buy present for me is ok, i just wish he could be safe back home.

Well.. i m going to have a one week break b4 i start to work on a new environment. So excited..wondering hw is the colleagues there. Will it be the same as my previous coy or worst? Just dun wish to have another fat woman (whom is my previous coy). Anyway my last day at work i oso din go say bye bye to her cos i think she dun deserve my bye bye. Hate her to core man. Well just dun wish in my new life have this kind of woman.

just nw i go through the photos when i m still in EMIS. It was so sad that my tears are rolling from my eyes, nt tat the photos are sad but tat was the time where i think i m the most happiest time in EMIS. The colleagues, trip, occassion where we all get together and have fun with each other. Happy event tends to end fast. Next week will be my last week in EMIS. Can't bear to leave my fellow colleagues but due to some reason i have chose to leave. Although i have no heart working with the coy but my heart will always contain my colleagues. Good pple tend to leave good coy and when good pple leave bad pple will corrupt the coy. And it make the coy stop growing. I always feel tat Teamwork is always a must in a coy. If there is one person whom dun knw wat is teamwork it will slowly make the coy collaspe.I always feel tat a gd boss should know what is going on with the coy by himself and nt to listen to those rumours. I wish to see this coy is growing well and hope tat the pple in there knows hw important teamwork & communication is. I wish to see this coy grow up as a family. Good Luck to EMIS.

I have offically tender my resignation. I felt so relieved. Although i going to miss my fellow colleagues esp those who r close to me, but i have no choice. No point working there when things are nt at my favour. Will have to move on. Hope next job will be better.

is been a long time that i have not update my blog.been busy with work and other things. And i have lots of unhappy things to say. But just can't say it out. Pple have been saying that i have change. Change in a way i become more quiet, dun talk much. Well i myself oso find tat too.Dun knw what wrong with me. Wanted to keep quiet for everything but it seems like is hard, cos if everything bottle inside me i go crazy and my temper will go bad. I chose to ignore.I chose to take it.I chose to stop telling pple my prbm. I try to work within my job scope, I try to give and take. But in the end wat do i get. Nthing..just a piece of shit and anger inside me. Y m i chosing this route. YYYY? Everyday go to work is just like putting a fake smiling face. I know i m nt the old EY anymore. Since i chosen this path i will have to face it. Talk too much can't help me anything, and it only get me into trouble. No point saying it out as everything will be back to sq one. What should i do? Hw did the hell m i ending up like this. :...( I m feeling terrible nw. Wanted to cry but i tell myself i cannot cry. I have to be strong, no one knw my pain. I just want to quietly go on with my life, is that so difficult. I wanted to give up everything......

S.H.E concert

just came back from S.H.E concert. Not as nice as their 1st concert. Maybe is becos the sound system is not tat gd ba. Well overall still rate 80%. Selina dancing not too bad, well as least she still dance after her skirt dropped off. hehe.. Hebe keep forgetting her dance. Not really enjoy, dun knw y. So sian. Dun have the mood. sigh~~ no mood to blog too.

i find tat i love my bf even more than ever. Not becos he buy things for me as i knw i dun fancy all this buying things. I love him more is becos he start to think for me,worry for me. But at times he will forget la. He will think if he go to work then i at his hse will be very boring so he buy for me watever i like n within his budget. So tat i can occupy myself. But something he worry too much liao. Although i m boring at home i still can find things to occupy myself like playing my laptop. but provided my laptop is with me la. If not i can watch DVD.What most important is he is faithful to me.. Dear i wish to tell u i love u more than ever.

once again i m sick...Argh~~ dun like the feeling of been sick. Btw who love to get sick. Keep eating medicine eat until i m scare of it. MC for 2 days and i have tons of work have not done yet. How?? Who could help me. I m really sick and tired of this kind of working life. Hw long m i going to endure? I oso dun knw. Dun like pple to talk to me in a harsh tone and pls lor u r asking pple to help lei can't u be abit kei qi yi dian. So wat you r a senior engineer. Big deal la. I fuck care u r senior engineer or wat, as long as u r asking pple for help u have to be polite even tons of work are piling up. U respect me i respect u .U give me fucking attitude i double it back to u. At the most i lost my job nia. Who cares. Maybe i should learn to ignore all this things and concentrate on my work.

I m a person whom i worry too much or think too much. Worry can't finish my work, ya i knw work will never be finish but at least finish the work of the day. Sometimes i wonder if i m too helpful or i just bo chap. i think i m more to bo chap. Although tat is nt under my job scope but still i take it. No moral in working tis company. At least my previous coy, my hr knw tat i have no moral she still encouraging me, telling me if i have any prbm can go to her. But here, although my fm is around but it seems like she is invisible to me.y? cos she is always so busy with her work. And even i have prbm i have to think of a solution 1st b4 going to tell her my prbm. Since i have the solution wat for i go find her rite. stupid. And i knw tat fm is not going to stand up for me even is not my fault. I rather my so call supervisior be my fm. Y? At least she teach me how should i do blah blah blah. Ya at times she can be bad but overall she still stand up for u. She the person whom is soft in heart. So as long as u r nt in a big trouble she is happy to help u . My MD always say we r one big family, should help each other. But so far i see only a few pple r helpful. Most of them r stuck up. Sigh~~ guess i have to endure for the time being until i really cannot tahan anymore. Sometimes i m thinking if i take up the other job will it be better for me? Did i make the wrong choice? Oh god pls guide me... i have lost myself.

Things i did for today

1.Talk to a boy/girl you like today?
--> my bf lor

2. Realize anything new?
--> no lor

3. Talk to an ex?
--> no

4. Miss someone?
--> not really

5. Slept in your bed?
--> fei hua

6. Saw you cry?
--> nobody

7. Went to the town with?
--> didn't go town lei

8. Went to the mall with you?
--> my bf lor

10. What made you laugh?
--> stupid actions which i did to him

11. Said they loved you?
--> hw i wish he would say he love me

12. Called you in the middle of thenight
--> no one dare (except my godbro)

13. Do you have a crush on someone?
--> er...think no

14. What book are you reading now?
--> CCNA 1 & 2

15. Piercing/tattoos?
--> piercing

16. What are you most scared of right now?
--> getting obese

17. Who do you really hate?
--> myself

18. Does anyone hate you?
--> how i knw.maybe alot ba.

19. Have you ever cried?
--> of cos la.. most of the time

20. What is ur feeling right now?
--> terrible